What Are the Best Ways to Cope with Stress?

I was once stuck for 30 minutes in a small elevator that was filled beyond capacity. Different people had different responses. One became anxious, another became angry, a third person joked. Every person was in exactly the same situation, but individual responses to this situation varied greatly. This helped me to realize that our emotional states are driven by our internal responses to external experiences and not by the external experiences themselves. Therefore, if we change our internal responses, our emotional states change. 

How do you handle stress?

When we are faced with potential stress, what can help us to have internal responses that support our wellbeing?

Anything that keeps us in the present moment (as opposed to focusing on the past or the future) can help to ground us and avoid feeling stressed. Examples include:

1. Enjoyable activities and hobbies: The following describes an extreme but illustrative example. I recall a hospitalized patient who heard troubling voices. He enjoyed playing guitar (there was guitar available on the ward) and while he was playing guitar, the voice that he had been hearing faded away.
2. Getting out of our heads and into our bodies: This can be accomplished by focusing on breathing or by exercising. Meditation, yoga and Tai Chi can help to balance our nervous system, as can breathing exercises. Meditation can quiet your mind and give you a sense of calm. After meditation, you may gain a new perspective regarding potentially stressful issues. You can take classes in person, or you can learn online with YouTube videos, like this one.
3. Breathing: Bhramari Pranayama, also known as humming bee breathing, is a yoga breathing exercise that can quickly have a calming effect. You can find examples of this exercise on YouTube.
4. Physical activity: Physical exercise can alter your biochemistry and make you feel good, emotionally and physically. Do physical activities that you enjoy. If you have joint problems, swimming may be a good option. If you enjoy physical activities together with others, seek that out. Play tennis, for example. Having fun while exercising is important.
5. Healthy diet: Healthy food, especially organic food, can be expensive, but as much as possible, eat healthy food. Consider including salads and/or fruits regularly in your meals. Healthy food can be very tasty. It is important that you enjoy the taste of your food.
6. Frequent laughter: Making someone laugh can instantly transform their mood. While you are laughing it is not possible to be anxious or depressed.
7. Socializing: Isolation can be stressful. Spend time with people whose company you enjoy. Human beings benefit from emotional warmth and social and physical contact with others.
8. Boundary setting: Feel free to make “no” one of your favorite words. The flight attendant in an airplane advises you to put on your own oxygen mask before putting an oxygen mask on someone else. Address your own emotional needs before addressing someone else’s emotional needs. If you say “no” and someone else gets upset, it is probably a good sign that you are doing the right thing for yourself.
9. Creativity and fun: You can be creative in any area of your life, such as music, art, work and family life. Being creative can be inspiring and energizing. It allows you to connect with something greater than yourself, be immersed in an enjoyable activity, and let go of thoughts of the future or the past.
10. Mental health treatment: Consider getting mental health treatment to address problems such as depression, anxiety or addiction (to alcohol, drugs or food). The mental health treatment could consist of psychotherapy (counseling), medication, or a rehabilitation program.
11. Good sleep: The quality of your sleep can significantly affect your functioning while awake. Following the above suggestions regarding breathing, physical activity, diet, meditation can lead to great improvement in sleep.

Learn more about psychiatrist Peter Goertz, MD