First vs. Second Baby - What’s Different?
It’s true what they say- there are differences between being an expectant parent of your first child versus your second child. I’m seven and a half months pregnant with my second child and as our family prepares for his arrival, I realize how my thoughts around our second child on the way are vastly different than with the first.
*Mommy disclaimer - You’re actually not crazy. These are the concerns I have had. I’m certain not all of you had ALL of these worries, but I would love to see what you think.
As a mom, I know sometimes it just helps to know what others have experienced and that you’re not crazy!I made a quick list of questions my husband and I have had as expectant parents both times.
Are there any thoughts you had? Are there any you would add to the list?
Worries/thoughts with my first child:
- Did I think of everything? (It’s not posstasible)
- Is everything I registered for safe enough for my baby?
- What do I need to change at home to make it safe for my baby?
- What kind of delivery do I want to have?
- How do I choose the right pediatrician?
- Am I hurting my baby?
- How will this change my relationship?
- How will we handle child care and work?
- What’s not safe to eat/drink during pregnancy?
- Can I still exercise?
- Can we still have sex during the pregnancy?
- Why am I so tired?
- Are those contractions? How will I know what they feel like?
- Should my partner and I get vaccinated?
- Should my child’s caregivers/additional family members get any vaccinations?
Worries/thoughts with my second child:
- How will we deal with being more tired?
- How will we juggle two kids?
- How will we handle child care?
- How will we afford two tuitions for child care?
- How will we set up our space at home for both kids?
- What baby items need to be replaced?
- What baby items should we get rid of?
- How will my toddler handle a new baby and all the attention he requires?
- Will I be able to give my second child the same attention my first child received?
- Do we need a double stroller?
- How will we fit multiple car seats in the vehicle(s)?
- It was tight squeezing in a date night before, how will we do that this time around?
My daughter is now 3 years old and over time, I’ve learned that with all the worries swirling around parenthood; I try to remember several simple reminders:
- Trust Yourself- You know your child best, so trust your gut feelings.
- Don’t Listen To Everything You Hear- It’s overwhelming with everything on TV, online and in other forums. Take what you know and make your best decision.
- Your Child Will Be Okay- We can’t be everything to our children all the time, even though we may try. In the end, your child will be fine.
- You’re Doing The Best You Can- Overall, everyone is just trying to do a good job. You’ll quickly assess what you think you would have done differently and what has worked well.
- Sometimes It Has To Come From Someone Else. When I’m caught in the mix of daily pressures and stress, sometimes it helps to hear these things from fellow parents.
- You’re Not Crazy- It may feel like it some days, but I promise you’re not crazy- you’re a parent.