First vs. Second Baby - What’s Different?

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It’s true what they say- there are differences between being an expectant parent of your first child versus your second child. I’m seven and a half months pregnant with my second child and as our family prepares for his arrival, I realize how my thoughts around our second child on the way are vastly different than with the first.

*Mommy disclaimer - You’re actually not crazy. These are the concerns I have had. I’m certain not all of you had ALL of these worries, but I would love to see what you think.

As a mom, I know sometimes it just helps to know what others have experienced and that you’re not crazy!I made a quick list of questions my husband and I have had as expectant parents both times.

Are there any thoughts you had? Are there any you would add to the list?

Worries/thoughts with my first child:

  • Did I think of everything? (It’s not posstasible)
  • Is everything I registered for safe enough for my baby?
  • What do I need to change at home to make it safe for my baby?
  • What kind of delivery do I want to have?
  • How do I choose the right pediatrician?
  • Am I hurting my baby?
  • How will this change my relationship?
  • How will we handle child care and work?
  • What’s not safe to eat/drink during pregnancy?
  • Can I still exercise?
  • Can we still have sex during the pregnancy?
  • Why am I so tired?
  • Are those contractions? How will I know what they feel like?
  • Should my partner and I get vaccinated?
  • Should my child’s caregivers/additional family members get any vaccinations?

Worries/thoughts with my second child:

  • How will we deal with being more tired?
  • How will we juggle two kids?
  • How will we handle child care?
  • How will we afford two tuitions for child care?
  • How will we set up our space at home for both kids?
  • What baby items need to be replaced?
  • What baby items should we get rid of?
  • How will my toddler handle a new baby and all the attention he requires?
  • Will I be able to give my second child the same attention my first child received?
  • Do we need a double stroller?
  • How will we fit multiple car seats in the vehicle(s)?
  • It was tight squeezing in a date night before, how will we do that this time around?

My daughter is now 3 years old and over time, I’ve learned that with all the worries swirling around parenthood; I try to remember several simple reminders:

  1. Trust Yourself- You know your child best, so trust your gut feelings.
  2. Don’t Listen To Everything You Hear- It’s overwhelming with everything on TV, online and in other forums. Take what you know and make your best decision.
  3. Your Child Will Be Okay- We can’t be everything to our children all the time, even though we may try. In the end, your child will be fine.
  4. You’re Doing The Best You Can- Overall, everyone is just trying to do a good job. You’ll quickly assess what you think you would have done differently and what has worked well.
  5. Sometimes It Has To Come From Someone Else. When I’m caught in the mix of daily pressures and stress, sometimes it helps to hear these things from fellow parents.
  6. You’re Not Crazy- It may feel like it some days, but I promise you’re not crazy- you’re a parent.

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